For my writing exercise today, I challenged myself to write a paragraph using Merriam-Webster’s new dictionary entries:
Mom says she’s hoping my life will turn into a walk-off homer in the 9th inning of my twenties, otherwise I’ll have to revive her broken heart with CPAP.
“You can’t treat life like a duathlon,” she says, “if you’re not even bothering to enter the race.”
“I’m gonna apply for that robocall job, I swear.”
“Not if you don’t get off the couch.” Mom picks up her smart phone and whips up some crowdsourcing for her m-commerce vitamin business. She’s always attached to some sort of electronic device, so I don’t get why she bugs me about wasting time on social media. She tweets more than I do, hoping to sell supplements to parkour participants. Talk about a boring job!
I mean, it’s not like I’m fist-bumping my buddies about being a boomerang child. And Mom’s wrong about me going after the cougars in her book club, but could she blame me? My only relationship is a bromance with an old high school classmate based on our shared fondness for Americana banjo music.
Maybe I’m not doing the most I could with my life. But it’s totally Mom’s fault for being such a helicopter parent!
So what’s your favorite official new word?